• Domina Quinn Livid

How to Approach a Dominatrix

Updated: Apr 27

Ok, I get it. I’ve been called “intimidating”, “strict”, “unapproachable”, blah blah blah. That’s not about to change, and I suspect most of you love those qualities about me. The problem is, what happens when you, the sub, are finding it difficult to make yourself known? Since you’re probably not a hot babe with a large following and high online visibility (but if you are, heyy) I’m never going to even know that you exist unless you make a move to get on my radar. This guide is my attempt to help you inch your way closer, until I am able to drag you, feebly protesting, into my web, never to be seen again.

(Because you shy, reserved ones are my favorite ;)

Step 1: Contemplation

As I’m sure you’re already aware, I love to post selfies on social media to show off my sexy bod and impeccable fashion sense. I also tweet my thoughts regularly, promote other Dommes whom I know personally or whose philosophy I admire, and occasionally create blog posts like this one. Consume my free content until you are completely enamored with Quinn Livid and need MORE.

Complete this list:

Step 2: Preparation

Next you’ll need to set some groundwork. I recommend that you complete these steps now, so that when you’re feeling brave or reckless you can take action immediately, and not have to wade through a technical process that may cause you to lose your nerve.

Complete this list:

Step 3: Indoctrination

Now that you’ve prepared yourself, you’re ready to fall deeper under my spell. These actions will convince you that, despite your fear, you NEED to get in touch with me.

Complete this list:

Step 4: Ingratiation

It’s always a good idea to initiate contact with a Goddess by thinking about what will make her happy. It makes me curious about who you are and excited about the possibility of getting to know each other better. I explain below which of these options will automatically lead me to initiate conversation and which ones will not, so you can decide for yourself if you are ready.

(Note that liking and retweeting my social media posts, while always appreciated, is not exceptional enough behavior to catch my attention. Contributing materially to my life, however, always does.)

I WON’T contact you directly (unless you ask) if you :

I WILL contact you directly if you:

(Tip: these platforms take a percentage, so if you want to send a particular amount factor in an extra 20-30%)

Step 5: Communication

You’ve decided that you are finally ready to make contact! Either you have sent a tribute and stepped back to let me take the reins, or you have something you’d like to say. Respectfully introduce yourself, list your interests and explain what you are looking for, whether that is a remote or in-person session, ongoing training or simply an intellectual discussion of BDSM.

Options here include:

Congratulations! You’ve overcome your shyness and are now in contact with the Domme of your dreams. I hope this process has reminded you that everything worth having is worth fighting for.

Post Script:

Your path to contact with me should now be quite clear. Just in case, here’s a list of behaviors to AVOID AT ALL COSTS. Doing something that is listed here will have consequences ranging from creating a terrible first impression to being blocked from my social media. As a seasoned Domme I do not reward bad behavior with any sort of attention, so don’t even try it.


  • Attempt to use email, Niteflirt mail or Twitter/Instagram DMs for any communication other than to ask about my private payment methods. If you want to chat, use the myriad paid options I have made available.

  • Send me an incomplete application form or ask for activities that I have listed as limits on my website.

  • Make lewd comments on my photos on Twitter or Instagram (for instance: “You’re so beautiful, Goddess” is acceptable; “You make my dick hard” is not).

  • Attempt to haggle over rates. There is nothing more distasteful to me than being cheap.